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My jokes
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Jokes
At the end of the third round the boxer says to his trainer: "Do you think I can beat him?". "I'm sure", says the trainer, "If you keep waving your hands through the air like that he will surely get a pneumonia by the end of next round".
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn."A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!
A man is talking to God and asks him: "God, why did you make women so beautiful?", to which God replies: "so that you would find them attractive". Then the man asks: "God, but why did you have to make them so dumb?". To which God replies: "So that they would find you attractive!"
Public service announcements from around the world:
USA: "It's ten o'clock: do you know where your children are?"
Italy: "It's ten o'clock: do you know where your husband is?"
France: "It's ten o'clock: do you know where your wife is?"
Poland: "It's ten o'clock: do you know what time it is?"
A drunk in a bar is bragging about girls: "I wish I had a buck for every girl I ever had sex with". "Why?", says the man mext to him, "Would you like to buy a news paper?".
Elephant Jokes
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.2. Insert elephant.3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.2. Remove elephant.3. Insert giraffe.4. Close door.
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
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